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Wed, Feb. 4th, 2004, 11:35 pm

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Cigars smoked today: Three

Meals eaten: Three

Crying episodes: Two - Tried to watch My First Mister again but I had to stop because it reminded me too much of Jamie. After he died I had this horrible picture of him laying at the bottom of the cliff he fell off of. His father is at the top of the cliff looking down at his broken son. Jamie reaches for his father and then his arm falls to his side and his eyes close for the last time. Watching that movie made that image come back into my head and I broke down crying all over Keith.

The second crying episode was while watching Patch Adams with Keith. I broke down during the part where Carin is talking about how men have been "attracted" to her all her life. She envied the catapillers because no matter who they were or what happened to them they could always hide away in their cocoon and become a beautiful untouched butterfly. That brought back far too many horrible memories. So, I broke down all over Keith again.

Times I cut myself: Three... It's been a tough day.