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Sat, Feb. 7th, 2004, 07:01 pm
Night Terrors

Well, the night terrors are definitely back with a vengeance. I had a nice few months without them.

Today's was especially traumatic. I'll leave out the stupid parts of the dream. In my dream all of my friends kept dying. Not just dying but being killed by these kids that turned evil. Anyway, that's not the important part. At the end it was just Jamie and me hiding from everyone in a room. I just kept kissing his face and hugging him. Jamie was one of the greatest friends I have every had. He died in a rock climbing accident in the summer of '99. This completely evil/crazy guy barges into the room. He has three guns, one for him, one for me and one for Jamie. He explains to us that he is going to give us each a gun and we must stand on opposite sides of the room and shoot each other. If we don't, the other will be horribly beaten and tortured until they die. I finally got Jamie back after all of these years of missing him horribly and now I have to kill him. I nearly lost my mind. Finally, the guy told us to start. So I stood there beside myself watching my finger pull the trigger. I watched the bullets shoot across the room, some hitting the wall some tearing through Jamie. I could feel the deep burn of his bullets ripping through me. In what seemed like a thousand years later he finally fell to the floor. I ran to him and laid down next to him. Our blood was running together. I looked into his eyes and watched his life slowly fade away.....again. Keith said when he came over to me I was sobbing and kept saying, "I love you. I'm so sorry." When I "woke up" I knew I was laying on the couch in Keith room but Jamie was still there lying next to me. I just kept petting his face and telling him I was so sorry as the tears poured out of my eyes. When I finally woke up for real I could still feel all of the blood that had covered me in the dream. So I went and took the hottest shower I have ever taken and scrubbed every inch of my body.

I wouldn't wish that hell on my worst enemy.

I love you Jamie. I still miss you like you'd never believe. K bye.