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Fri, Feb. 6th, 2004, 04:57 am
Life, just leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DCollins56: Can you find a doctor out there and just stay?
Poli Hi84: I'd rather not
DCollins56: You & Keith don't dp well separated?
Poli Hi84: I know, but you know that I don't believe in moving in with someone before we're married
Poli Hi84: besides, it's good for us to be apart sometimes
DCollins56: I'm not saying to have sex, but it you need each other
Poli Hi84: we'll be fine. I'm not going to move in with him.
Poli Hi84: I just don't think it's right
DCollins56: As long as you're nothaving sex, it's a whole different thing
DCollins56: If you're needed out there
Poli Hi84: I'm getting tired of being here anyway
DCollins56: OK
DCollins56: Have you tried looking for a part-time job and staying a whle?
Poli Hi84: I'm not ready to move
DCollins56: OK
DCollins56: I talked to Dr. Clyne and he said you will be better if you keep you mind busy. like working or taking classes
DCollins56: No pressure
DCollins56: I just want you to feel better
Poli Hi84: I am getting things figured out for myself. School is not what I need. I need to help people.
Poli Hi84: I need to volunteer at the humane's society or something
DCollins56: That would be great
DCollins56: But at some point you are going to have to support yourself.
Poli Hi84: I know that
DCollins56: I am honestly layig a bunch of crat on you. I just wasnt to seeyou get better.
Poli Hi84: what makes you think I'm not doing better?
DCollins56: Nothing
Poli Hi84: then what are you so worried about?
DCollins56: But as some point you are going to have join society
Poli Hi84: why?
DCollins56: bacause that's how life works--for you and Keith
DCollins56: I'm really not coming down on you
DCollins56: You do what's right
Poli Hi84: I will get a job when I need to. Right now I don't need to. I know what is good for me. I don't fit into society's mold, you know that. I never have.
DCollins56: OK
DCollins56: Working with animals would be wonderful for you
Poli Hi84: to me, a job is simply a means of getting money. When Keith and me get married I will definitely get a job
Poli Hi84: you really don't have anything to worry about, I'm doing really well.
DCollins56: OK
Poli Hi84: when did you talk to Dr. Clyne about me?
DCollins56: I had an appointment Tuesday.
DCollins56: It's hard as a parent to know what to do
Poli Hi84: eventually you guys are going to have to believe me when I say I am doing alright.
DCollins56: OK
DCollins56: But you're not always going to have a car and insurance
DCollins56: What will you do then?
Poli Hi84: what do you mean?
DCollins56: Our insurance can only cover you for a certain period of time andthen you are goingto to have to come up with something different
DCollins56: I'm not laying all this on you to upset you. You just have to think about the future
Poli Hi84: can't I have a break from worrying about that stuff all the time?
DCollins56: I don't think so
DCollins56: I'm going to go watch the movie. I don't want to upset you

Too freaking late, Mom...

Nothing makes me want to bleed more than being haunted by the same things that have almost killed me in the past.